The ending of a long term relationship may be one of the hardest times in our lives for lots of reasons. Even if it was your decision to end the relationship, you can still find yourself emotionally distraught afterward. This is completely normal, and with a little help, this will pass. There are several ways to work through your emotions more effectively that we will be looking at today. Hopefully, it will help any of you guys going through a rough time as we deal with how to get over a breakup.
How To Get Over A Breakup – Keep Your Distance From The Person
In order to heal and move on, you need to keep an appropriate distance from your ex. Even if you have decided to still be friends, things can’t be as they were.
Keeping your distance involves not seeing them or their family. It also means not calling them, messaging, emailing or Facebook. Often in the first few weeks, this is really tough. You might be used to daily contact with the person – they were the person you went with your problems too – and now you have to avoid contact. When you get an urge, just sit with it, don’t act on it – and slowly it will pass.
Of course, you don’t have to cut off communication completely, but simply until time has healed you enough that you can talk to them without feeling you need them.
Some good advice for this period is to find a trusting friend who you can reach out to when you are feeling lonely or sad. They will help you during this time, and this will stop you contacting your ex.
If they want to get in contact with you, consider what would be the point. They are likely going through the same emotions as you. Meeting again is likely to bring up old wounds, and slow the healing process. If you have to meet in order to move out or sign papers, just do whatever is necessary and keep the meetings short but civil.
How To Get Over A Breakup – Get Rid Of Painful Triggers
This is another important aspect of the process of moving on. Even when the person is not physically there, many things will still remind you of them. For some people, nearly everything will remind them of their ex for a time, especially if it was a long or intense relationship. It can be really beneficial to clear your living space of anything that triggers you to think about them.
Actually, one thing that can be difficult is Facebook. If you talked to the person a lot on Facebook chat, then they will appear in your chat. As far as I know there is no way to remove them from this, and so I’ve ended up having to delete an ex from Facebook just so I wouldn’t have to see their face every time I logged in.
How To Get Over A Breakup – Get Out Of The House And DO Things
The period of time after a breakup can be a period of mild depression that will pass in time. Often your mood will be really low, and for many people, they feel close to tears much of the time.
It is important to give yourself some space to recover for a few days, however, you don’t want to be isolated for too long, as this will just slow your recovery and leave you feeling worse.
Even if you don’t feel like it right now, getting out of the house to meet a friend will really help you on your way. Socializing, going to a club or society or practicing a hobby is a great way to distract your mind and help you forget your ex with time.
How To Get Over A Breakup – Remember To Take Care Of Yourself.
Like I said, you may be feeling depressed at this time and lack the motivation to do even the basic things. It is important to love yourself during this time. A good tip is to treat yourself like you would a pet – you wouldn’t let a cat or dog go all day without eating so why do it to yourself?
A couple of basic things you want to get right are sleeping, eating, exercise and relaxation.
- Try to get 7 – 8 hours sleep per night.
- Do 30 minutes of exercise 5 times a week. This can bee something as simple as going for a walk, or a short bike ride. Going to the swimming pool running is particularly good in my opinion as these provide an endorphin release that will help you feel better.
- Do focused relaxation for 15 minutes a day. This means things like yoga or meditation to really help your relax your mind and body.
- If you eat well, you will recover from this breakup much faster I promise you. Try to get fresh fruit, vegetables, whole grain and lean protein. Avoid binge eating junk food even though it may feel good at the time.
How To Get Over A Breakup – Allow Yourself To Grieve
A lot of advice here is to allow you to get over the person faster. However, you do need some time to deal with the emotional blow, and it isn’t possible to run from it forever. What you are feeling now is normal and OK. Give yourself permission to experience the pain and don’t run from it. Allowing yourself to cry, yell even scream can be a cathartic outlet.
How To Get Over A Breakup – Talk To Supportive People
Talking about it really helps. Bottling up your emotions and pretending everything is OK won’t. Friends and family who can provide compassionate support will be invaluable at this time. Don’t be afraid to ask for support – you might be surprised just how nice people can be.
Getting over a relationship is often a struggle. If you follow good advice, then you can feel like yourself much faster. Always remember that what you are feeling right now won’t last forever – this too shall pass.